The Rumour- Collab- 13

Dan’s P.O.V

Throughout lunch I couldn’t help but glance over at Phil every few seconds. He hated me, he actually hated me. I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Uh, guys I’m just gonna go to the toilet…” I don’t wait for them to respond, I just get up and leave. I’m thankful when I open the bathroom door to see no one is in there. I walk to the last stall, enter it and lock the door behind me. Then I start to cry. Silent sobs wrack my body as tears run down my face. He hates me he hates me he hates me. I start to whimper and my breathing becomes heavy with the effort of trying to stay quiet. He hates me he hates me he hates me. My face is red and my eyes hurt from the crying. He hates me he hates me he hates me. I hear the bathroom door open and somebody walk in.
“Dan? Are you in here?” I answer PJ with a quiet sob.
“Dan! What’s wrong? Open the door, let me in!” I open the stall door and see PJ standing there looking very worried.
“Oh, Dan.” He steps into the stall and hugs me, I fall apart in his arms.
“Dan, what’s wrong? What happened?”
“H-he h-hates m-me.”
“Who hates you?”
“P-Phil.” My voice cracks at his name and I cry harder.
“Why do you think he hates you.”
“H-he s-said h-he hated m-me.”
“Oh, Dan…” There was no way PJ could make me feel better and he knew that.
“At least this way he’ll never get hurt.”
“B-but h-he did g-get hurt. I-I h-hurt him, that’s s-so m-much worse.”
“It was the only way to protect him.”
“I-I w-wish I d-didn’t have t-too.”

”Oh, Danny boy! Just wait ‘till you hear what I have in store for you!”
“W-what is it?”
“First, it’s beating time.” I’m pushed to the ground and they start pummeling me. I just tell myself it’s worth the pain, Phil is worth the pain. After about 10 minutes of continuous punches and kicks they finally stop.
“Ok, Danny, I’m gonna give you a choice!’
“O-ok.”
“Now, I want you to ditch your little friend-“
“NO!” He hits me across the face.
“Don’t interrupt me. Now, I want you to ditch your friend in a way that will make him cry.” He stops me before I can object again with a threatening glare.
“If you don’t do this then I will continue to beat you up daily, but I will also beat up Phil. Which would you rather?” I didn’t want to abandon Phil, I wanted to be friends with him forever. But I couldn’t bare the thought of him being put through pain on a daily basis. I couldn’t be selfish.
“I’ll ditch him.”
“Good! Now, as an extra bonus, I’ll stop beating you up, but I need to be there when you break that kids heart.”
“Ok.”

-1 day later-

“Hey Dan! You excited for the first day?”
“Go away Phil”
“Wha-”
“I said go away! I don’t want to be your friend anymore!”
“W-why?”
“A lot of reasons, just go away! Now!” A tear falls down his cheek and I hate myself. I want to hug him, take it all back, make him smile that cute smile of his. But I can’t so I just roll my eyes and walk away as if what I just did didn’t make me want to kill myself. I walked behind the bike shed where Steve and his followers were laughing.
“Did you see his face! That was hilarious!” I start crying. I just hurt Phil and I’ll never be able to make it better.
“Stop being a pussy! Now I’m gonna smash your head for old times sake, how does that sound?” Steve pushes me to the ground and starts to bash me. So much pain, inside and out. But Phil’s worth it. Phil’s worth everything.

I cry harder into PJ’s shirt, that memory is the most painful one. That was the first time I made Phil cry. I know that wasn’t the last time Phil cried, I know that he cried over me many times before he finally moved on. I haven’t moved on though. I’ll never move on. I knew Phil didn’t like me but for him to say he hated me, that’s the worst thing I ever experienced.
“PJ, I still love him…”
“I know Dan, I know…” I was so caught up in my memories and pain that I didn’t realize that Phil was standing just inside the door and had heard our entire conversation.