Baby- Phan (1/2)

“You excited for your first day?”
“Yes! I’m gonna make lots of friends and I’m gonna play with them!”
“Good boy!” Dan’s mother smiles at her 6-year-old son. It is his first day of ‘real’ school and he is extremely excited, Dan had spent the last week running around the house and gushing about how much he wishes he were at school already. Dan is an only child, so he has no one to tell him what school is like, that doesn’t bother him though, he’s decided it’s going to be like how it is in all the shows.
Dan’s mother is just happy that her son is happy. Dan’s father left when he was just a baby, leaving his mother to raise him all by herself. She is a little worried, it’s going to be the first time Dan hasn’t spent the day with her.
They catch the bus to the school, Dan’s mother not having enough money to buy a car, and they get to the building at 8:30.
Dan walks into the main hall holding his mothers hand. He’s practically jumping up and down in excitement. There are lots of kids already there, running around and playing.
The bell rings and it’s time for class. Dan turns to his mother and hugs her tight.
“I’ll see you later mummy.”
“Okay, baby, have fun today. I love you.”
“I love you too, mummy.” Dan then runs into his classroom so he’s not late and his mum watches him go, tears clouding her eyes.
She turns to the woman next to her, who also has a fine misting of tears in her eyes.
“My baby’s growing up.” The woman laughs, and then wipes her eyes.
“Oh, we’re such sooks.”
“My name’s Catherine Howell, it’s nice to meet you.”
“Michelle Lester, want to join me for a cup of coffee? There’s a lovely café just down the street.”
“That sounds great.”

The school bell rings, signaling the end of the day. Kids come running out of the building, eager to get home. Catherine looks around at the crowd of kids, trying to find her little boy. A feeling of anxiousness begins to rise in her, but is soon blown away when she catches sight of her brown haired baby running towards her. Dan launches into her arms and she hugs him back just as tightly, lifting him into the air and swinging him around as she kisses him on the cheek.
“Mummy, I missed you!” Dan says as he is put down. When his feet touch the ground he instantly clutches at his mothers hand.
“I missed you too baby, did you have a good first day?”
“Yes! We were learning the alphabet but I already knew it so I got a gold star.” Dan says proudly as he points at the sticker on his shirt. “And then we started learning adding and subtracting and I was good at it and the teacher called me smart.”
“That’s wonderful, baby.”
“I also made a friend!” Catherine smiled, that’s the main thing she was concerned about. She knew that her son was smart and would be able to go through his first year of school easily, she was worried about his ability to make friends though. He’s bright and talkative and not shy in the slightest, but he hasn’t really been around too many kids his age. When his father left, Catherine isolated herself and her son in despair. She no longer had any real friends and her sons only company had been hers. If he were to have trouble making friends, she would never forgive herself.
“You made a friend? That’s amazing!”
“His name is Phil and he’s really nice and he likes lions. There he is, over there!” Dan says, pointing at a little boy standing with a woman. The boy has black hair and is talking animatedly to the woman he is with, the woman Catherine recognises, it’s Michelle.
Catherine smiles and walks over to them, still holding Dan’s hand.
“Hi Michelle.” She says, smiling.
“Catherine! Coffee this morning was lovely, I’d love to do it again some time.” Michelle smiles, and then looks down at Dan. “You must be Dan, it’s very nice to meet you! My name is Michelle.” Dan smiles and waves at Michelle, then turns to his mother.
“Mummy, that’s Phil.” He says, pointing at the young boy beside Michelle.
Catherine smiles at the boy and introduces herself. She then talks to Michelle and plans are soon made for a play date on the weekend.

It’s not long before Dan and Phil become best friends; their solid friendship leads to Catherine and Michelle becoming best friends too. Suddenly, Catherine and Dan are no longer alone in the world.

--- 10 years later ---

Dan walks into his home, shoulders slumped and head down. It only takes a second for Catherine to know something is wrong.
“Dan, baby, what happened?”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Okay, but just remember, you can tell me anything, alright?”
“Thanks mum.” Dan says, then goes and hugs his mother. It’s been 10 years and there is yet to be a day where Dan doesn’t hug his mum before he leaves for school and when he comes back. Dan and his mother have always been extremely close, and not even teen angst could affect their relationship.
Later that night, Dan walks into the lounge room, sits down next to his mum and slumps so his head is resting on his mothers shoulder.
“You ready to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Everything is wrong.”
“Be more specific.”
“Phil has a crush on a girl.”
“And what’s wrong with that.”
“I want him to have a crush on me.” Dan starts crying onto his mothers shoulder and she turns to hug him properly.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay, everything is going to be okay.”
“No it’s not, he’s straight, he’s never gonna fall in love with me and when he finds out I like him he’s gonna leave me.”
“Phil will never leave you, baby, he loves you, it might not be in the same way you love him, but he still loves you and he would never purposely hurt you.”
“Why couldn’t I have been born a girl? If I was then I might’ve had a chance with Phil.” Catherine didn’t know how to reply to that, so she just hugged her son tighter and wished for his heartache to end.

Catherine and Michelle are drinking coffee at Michelle’s house, something that is a common occurrence in their average daily schedule.  
“So, how’s Dan?” Michelle asks casually.
“Oh, he’s having love problems.”
“Really? Poor boy, I’ll get Phil to talk to him-”
“No, that’d be a bad idea.”
“Why? They talk about everything, I’m sure Phil would be able to help him out.”
“I’m sure Phil would be able to help Dan out, if not for the fact that Phil is the one giving Dan his problems.”
“Oh… Poor Dan.” Catherine nods in agreement.
Little did either of them know that Phil had heard their entire conversation.

On Monday, Catherine was at home doing the laundry when she heard the front door being pushed open. Catherine was a little scared, it was 9:10am, Dan had left for school 40 minutes before, no one should be entering her house. But then Dan runs into the laundry and straight into her arms, making Catherine lose any trace of fear to just be replaced with confusion.
Dan is crying heavily into her shoulder, his breath coming out in short gasps. The sound is breaking Catherine’s heart.
“Baby, baby what’s wrong?”
“P-Phil…” Dan says before crying harder. Catherine left it at that, waiting for her son to calm down before questioning him any further.
When Dan finally calmed down enough to speak, he relayed his story to his mother.
“When I got to school, I went up to Phil like I always do, but instead of smiling, he just frowned at me. And then he looked me in the eye and said: I’m not gay. He then turned around and walked away.” Catherine held her son tighter as he spoke, his voice trembling and breaking at points.
“My poor baby…” Is all she says, rocking Dan back and forth in her arms, trying to put the pieces of her sons’ heart back together.